The DNF T Shirt

I dig the race T shirt. For mid pack schleps like me who aren't in contention for podium cash (if you're lucky) and prizes, it's a nice reminder of finishing a long hard race, and I wear my race T shirts proudly among the masses of folks who view walking to the kitchen for more chips and dip as exercise. Of course I often have to block out how much money, pain and suffering a $4 Hanes Beefy T actually ends up costing me by the end of a race weekend, but it's a nice memento nonetheless.

But what of the DNF Race T? I have acquired more than a few DNF Ts over the years. And have a special closet for them all. In the basement. In the workshop. By my bike. In a pile. The closet is of course also known as the rag pile.

I just can't wear them. I feel like if I did, I would have to add an asterisk*, explaining that I in fact DID NOT FINISH the race who's name and logo appear across my chest and that I am seemingly sporting in a proud manor. That while many others were out racing and pushing on to a finish, I was slinking back to my car alternating between wishing to avoid having to explain to spectators and volunteers why I am not out on course ("don't make eye contact, look straight ahead, don't stop, just keep walking...") and hoping to have explain my situation- "It's not the mud, rain, and 90K still left to race, it's my free hub! See, it doesn't work, look! See for yourself, go ahead, try to pedal. You can't I tell you!"



In other words, for me to be seen with the DNF T-Shirt on doing anything more than painting the house or using it as the most expensive grease rag ever, would just leave me feeling like a dope. A non race finishing dope, who needs to take better care of his bike.

I suppose there are some that can wear the DNF T and use it as motivation. They look down at their chest and say "I failed, but look out next time! I'm gonna go all Chuck Norris on the next race!" If you can, more power to you, I can't. The shirt goes in the rag pile, the number plate goes in the garbage, and 6 to 12 beers later it's like the race never happened.

Now I'm not talking about DNFs from injury, or from extreme circumstances. We all know when we've done our best, raced hard, and just can't do anymore. Or when a race hands us a situation that could be dangerous and is better left for another time, place or someone with less brains. In that case wear that shirt with pride. Put it on knowing you did your best, pushed yourself, and earned it. But sadly we all know when we pull the plug "just 'cause." Or have our bike fail because we do something stupid like not have a free hub serviced in 5 years or use the pressure washer a bit too liberally (not that I know anyone like that or anything). In that case take the number plate off, put that shirt on the pile in the basement, and go buy yourself a couple six packs of good beer.

In the end I guess I would rather have a small pile rags from DNFs than an empty space from a season of Did Not Starts. But I would much rather have a nice pile of race t shirts in a different pile all together... The one by the washer and dryer.

Good luck out there people, there's still lots more riding and racing left in 2010.

Jason Mahokey
xxcmag.com